You threw a tantrum at Toys R Us today and mommy bought you a big box of Ninjago Legos. Daddy was against the idea.
Daddy.
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Mama: Don't touch your kuku bird. See, it's getting big already.
Max: That's why I need to squeeze it, to make it small again.
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Mama: We need to find a taxi.
Max: Let's pray to poh poh in heaven.
Mama: Okay.
Max: How come we always need to ask dead people for taxi?
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( 3.1 / 257 )
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( 2.8 / 211 )Dear Max,
These are from last year. Sorry daddy took so long to fix the blog. We'll post up some more recent quotes soon.
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Max: I want to hit my daddy.
Dad: You hit me, I won't talk to you for 1 hour.
Max: 1 hour is too long!
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Max: That day, the bird didn't see me, izzit?
Dad: Er ya.
Max: He accidentally poo poo on me izzit?
Dad: Ya.
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Max: Old people have to use cane izzit?
Dad: Ya. Some old people need to use a cane.
Max: When you are old you need to use a cane izzit?
Dad: Ya. When I'm old, maybe I might need to use a cane.
Max: When you are old, I find money for you ah?
Dad: Okay, that's nice of you. Thanks.
Max: If I see somebody with money, I will hit them and take their money and give it to you.
Dad: !!!!!
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Dad: Brrrrriiiiiiingggggg. Time for the police man to get out of bed, put on his helmet and get on his ATV, and do some ....er.... police work.
Max: Got some naughty boy beat his mama.
Dad: Er ya. nee nah nee nah.
Max: Dad, what is this?
Dad: That's the police torch light.
Max: What about this?
Dad: That's a police stick.
Max: It's for what one?
Dad: It's for the police to protect himself one.
Max: What is protect himself?
Dad: When naughty people want to beat the police, he can use the stick to beat them.
Max: What the naughty people say to the police.
Dad: Er maybe they say "We want to do naughty things, we don't like the police."
Max: Maybe they say, "Don't beat me!"
Dad: Ya, maybe.
Max: ...
Dad: Actually, the policeman is good one. He usually just shine his torch light into cars to make sure people wear their seat belts. Sometimes they give police ticket if people don't park their cars properly or don't wear their seat belts. Then the people have to take the ticket to the police station and pay money there.
Max: Ya.
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Max: Mama, now you are happy, is it?
Mama: No.
Max: Come I make you happy.... Happy, happy, happy!
Mama: *laugh*
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Max: What happen to the land bridge ah?
Dad: The water washed it away.
Max: The water is naughty, is it?
Dad: No lah, the water just always flows downwards.
Max: *frown* Oh.
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Max: Dad, see? I can take out all the meccano screws.
Dad: Ya.
Max: I'm so strong, dad. I got eat protein.
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Max: Next day, I want to buy the Diego Safari toy.
Dad: How about we just look at it at the toy store?
Max: I want it!
Mama: But you already have so many toys.
Max: I want to give away all my toys. I don't want them anymore.
Dad and mama: *stunned silence*
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Max: I saw the Wiggles, but they didn't bring the Big Red Car.
Dad: Ya.
Max: ...because it's too heavy.
Dad: Ya, maybe next day we can see them again.
Max: Ya, maybe next day they grow big and strong, then they can carry the Big Red Car.
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Max: How come ducks also got eggs one?
Mama: Ya, chickens also can lay eggs. Ducks also can lay eggs. All the birds can lay eggs.
Max (in a sad voice): I don't know how to lay eggs.
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Max: How about we pretend the fishballs have eyes.
Dad: Come, I pour out the water for you.
Max: No, dad! They are trying to swim!
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