Another photo by Anna Rina.
Okay, we’ve decided that I have written enough about the renovations already, so I’m just going to skip that list I mentioned earlier. My wife says I should write something positive. She usually lets me just write whatever I feel like but I do value her input because she reads a whole lot more than I do. The fact that she’s asking for some positive content got me thinking that maybe I’m turning into a whiner. I look back at my style of writing and discovered I basically employ the same style throughout each blog entry – I come up with a list of complaints, and end with a snappy conclusion. I thought I was a pretty good writer. I’m actually just a pretty good whiner!
For a few days now, I’ve been thinking about something positive to write. I still want to write something that people would want to read but I just don’t know how to write compellingly about anything positive. A few days ago, we were at our weekly pre-natal class and we, along with the rest of the class, were told to imagine how our schedule would change with the arrival of our respective babies. We came up with a few ideas and then drew a dreadful blank. The teacher said to just focus on the magical moments we would encounter – like the first burb. I know our lives are pretty good right now and I am excited about it all, but I am also hanging on to the hope that I am not turning into the proud parent that thinks that his son’s first burb will make a compelling read to anybody else. And in any case, that first burb is weeks away, so that still leaves me with nothing to show.
That was until this morning. We’ve been telling our friends that it’s really not easy handling a pregnancy and a new house at the same time, and sometimes we joke that we would not wish that kind of experience on anyone. We started out this morning just like we do every morning, driving through terrible traffic, complaining about work, worrying about the baby, worrying about my wife, listing out all the chores that needed doing and regretting about the plant we forgot to water. While thinking about that plant, I remembered that a friend of my brother’s would be going through heart surgery today. She’d had some complications and had been in the hospital for three weeks, with a case of pneumonia as well. Naturally, she has been on our minds quite a bit.
That got me thinking. What if sometime in the not-so-distant future, we look back at our lives and really miss the days when we had our current set of complaints? We could be living what are potentially the best days of our lives right now, and not even know it. I am sure that if we had to face some kind of crisis in the future, we would be brave and we would be calm, but we would also look back and really wish for the times when we had the luxury of worrying about trivial things.
I guess what I’m trying to say is – maybe we need to put more thought into being happy today.
Happy Happy Day, everyone!
[ 4 comments ] ( 33 views ) | permalink | related link
Photo taken by the beautiful and talented Anna Rina. Thanks!
We’ve moved in for 2 weeks already. It seems like a minor miracle that we managed to get everything into the house. On the first day, my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law and a few cousins came to give us a little help with unpacking, cooking, cleaning, and fixing up the baby’s cot and changing table. We discovered the kitchen tap was not working, so we got the kitchen builder to come in and fix it. Then, we found a leak in the kitchen sink. We got another guy to come and fix that (it needed “proper” fixing again a few days later). Our bathroom toilet was also flooding so we got that fixed. On the second day, we got some people to plant some grass in the front and back. A week later, we put a few potted plants into the middle courtyard (we still call it a “courtyard” even though our landscape guy calls it an air well). We also got our alarm fixed and some curtains in. Two air-conditioner units were blowing warm air, so we got them fixed. We got the telephone line working at all points and my sis-in-law got us connected to the internet. For a week, we couldn’t figure out how to hook up to it, but our nice neighbour came over and sorted all that out. My sister got us a brand new TV and we had that installed a few days ago along with a DVD player. It still needs an antenna to watch public TV. For some reason, the TV guy kept insisting that I not bother with regular TV (because “the reception may or may not be good”) and was adamant that I should just subscribe to satellite TV. So, at the moment, we have neither. My brother got us a nice new fridge which we’re slowly filling up with food and drinks and my other sister got us all the other appliances. We put up a metal rack in the store room and labeled all the leftover paint and tiles.
We’ve moved just about all we need to move over from the old house. Luxen loaned us a trolley which saved my back from hauling 5 full carloads of things over from the old house on the first week – kitchen utensils, clothes, toys, tools, half of our CD collection, towels, floor mats, bed sheets, pillow covers, quilt covers, plants, stools, cleaning supplies, etc.
We’ve still got a list of a dozen other things to fix, but we’re slowly getting there and it’s finally starting to feel like the list is shrinking again. Off the top of my head: the front porch ceiling and backyard ceiling drips when it rains, rain water collects and splashes from backyard pillar onto our laundry, one toilet doesn’t flush properly, a couple kitchen cabinet doors need fixing, the little plastic caps to hide the screws under the kitchen cabinet need to be taken out and glued back properly, the counter top needs a little bit more grinding in one spot, the built-in rubbish bin needs to be realigned, we’re still missing curtains in 3 rooms, we need blinds installed in one window, 4 more lights need to be installed, grills need to be put up in a few places, we still need to find out one plumbing leak that is causing water stains on our kitchen ceiling, we need to wipe the saw dust off two more chandeliers, we need to buy a water filter, a sofa, a cupboard and a comfy chair and one fluorescent bulb needs replacing, oh and we need to find a new laundro-mat.
But it does finally feel like we’ve moved in. Thanks for all the help, everyone. I think my next entry will be a brief timeline of our renovation misadventures.
[ 8 comments ] ( 50 views ) | permalink | related link
Sorry if this blog seems dead lately. I’ve just been really busy with the house renovations. I’ve been meaning to write about it but even if I had found the time, I wouldn’t have had the mood. I can’t believe it has only been six weeks since we started. It really feels a lot longer. Maybe because I feel old and tired. We have about a week left before we move in on the last auspicious day of the next two months on the Chinese calendar.
Six weeks ago, I was really excited, objective, and full of energy. We had a budget and we had a list of things we wanted. Everything was going to be done according to our preferences and tastes. It was going to be perfect! Every day, I would drive by the house to make sure things were going smoothly. My wife, being pregnant, visited once a week to help me spot the things that needed fixing. My wife’s cousin joked that, without her supervision, I was probably going to demolish the wrong wall in the house.
I probably should have laughed but I didn’t want to jinx myself. Nevertheless, almost every time we were there, there were new problems. We welcomed the challenge at first, because we were learning a lot as we went along. I had to make sure the renovators didn’t take creative licenses too far. One day, my kitchen cabinet builder, my main renovator and my wife were quite convinced we needed to cut the structural support beam of the house. I stopped them. Another time, we were almost convinced to make holes in the bottom of our courtyard, which also happened to be the foundation layer of the housing project. Fortunately, somebody stopped us. Yet another day, I walked in on one guy who was carving out a big hole in the feature wall of our living room to put in a pipe. I asked him what it was for and he said it was to conceal the wiring for our television. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or explain to him that our television was going to be on the top floor. Every time we thought we were making a clever choice, it backfired on us. We found a specific guy to do the air-conditioners because he seemed very competent, but he turned out neither reliable nor competent and installed our units two weeks late (and we suspect, he was researching how to get the job done in the meantime). Our neighbour advised us to put the air-conditioner outdoor unit in our courtyard higher on the ledge to keep the heat away from the plants, but we thought it looked ugly from the second floor, so we insisted on installing it lower. Turns out, at that height, it had to be in only one particular spot that blocked out a big part of the courtyard view. In other words, it’s ugly and now likely to kill off our plants. I was told nobody could find a matching tile to our original kitchen floor, so I took it upon myself to find it. In the end, I thought I found it, but the stock varied from the sample, so that part of the renovation was delayed for two weeks, and my kitchen floor is now divided in two shades of beige.
At least I didn’t demolish the wrong wall. But I have to tell you - after the first few weeks, the fun was starting to wear off. I was getting irritable. I wasn’t good at screaming at people, so I bottled up the daily anger and brought it home. I got defensive whenever my wife contributed anything that sounded remotely like criticism. I started accepting quick fixes on a daily basis. The deadline was looming over our heads and the house felt like the escape vehicle which was never going to get off the ground. All I cared about was moving in, so I got irritated whenever my wife was pointing out cigarette butts, saw dust and paint drops. After awhile, she started allowing esthetic compromises as well.
I think we survived it, though. We have a week to go, but I think we’ll squeeze through, just barely. The phrase ‘perfectly imperfect’ crops up quite often whenever we talk about our house now. It’s probably a clichéd phrase in interior design. It would really surprise me if it isn’t.
[ 3 comments ] ( 27 views ) | permalink | related link
We finally went down to Singapore last weekend to pick up some baby stuff our cousins were giving us. On our first day there, we attended another full moon party. Almost everyone there were single and the baby’s dad was proudly dispensing advice on topics such as baby shopping, breastfeeding, breast-pumping, diaper changing, poop viscosity and his wife’s vaginal discharge. His enthusiasm was admirable but what amazed me was how he was totally oblivious to the discomfort that was spreading from one face to another around the dining room. All I could think was, “Is this what I’m going to be like when I become a father?” It was a scary thought indeed.
He even offered to show everyone how to change a diaper when the opportunity presented itself, but almost everyone declined. My wife pulled me into the room to watch the demonstration. I don’t really remember anything as I was busy imagining the day when I’ll be discussing my wife’s cracked nipples with acquaintances.
Anyway, the trip was great. Our cousins gave us a high chair, 2 car safety seats, a tricycle, a stroller and some baby activity books. One of our friends gave us one of each type of diaper to try, plus some diaper rash cream. We also bought a baby carrier, a bathtub insert, and some consumables. Before the trip, we also bought some other things from garage sales. We haven’t decided on a breast-pump and playpen. On the way to Singapore, we were sure we were going to buy an electric pump but not sure whether we were going to get a single or double. After the full moon party, we were definitely going to an electric double. After talking to our cousins, we began to see the virtues of manual pumps. Later, after talking to a few more friends, it seems there is a chance we might not need a pump after all. The same story seems to apply to milk bottles, diapers, playpens, cribs, and just about anything we could buy. The more information we gather, the more confused we get.
You can tell from this picture though, that we are more prepared for the baby, at least in terms of his material needs. Looking at what we’ve accumulated, you can’t help the feeling that maybe modern parents make up for their child-raising insecurities by spending more money on the prenatal shopping. It still feels like we know nothing about raising a kid, but if our infant prefers his diaper changed on a beechwood changing table, at least we have that covered.
[ add comment ] | permalink | related link
I don’t know what it is, but it seems like we’re surrounded by Superbabies. Everywhere we go, we see or hear about some extraordinary babies. One of our friends has the Superbig Baby who was being carried about in an upright body harness at about six weeks and is now outgrowing his 6-12 month baby clothes at 3 months. Another friend had Superstrong Baby who did his first pushup when he was six days old. A few months ago, we met Supercalm Baby who was unfazed by loud noises and could sleep through thunderstorms – which was a Superbaby power I could really appreciate, as a soon-to-be parent. A couple weeks ago, we discovered that one of our friends was the mother of Supersmart Baby who listened to classical Chinese history while still in the womb. When she was 3 months old, Supersmart Baby started greeting everyone “Good morning” and “Good Night” in Mandarin, plus she lifts her legs up when she is told to “Angkat kaki.”
Most parents of the Superbabies have something or other to recommend for our baby to listen to or experience while still in the womb. The popular one seems to be classical music. In fact, many of our friends are shocked when we tell them that our baby is due in 3 months and until recently, had not listened to any classical music at all. Our baby’s Godma ( The Souldoctor ) recently remedied the situation by giving him some classical and opera music CD’s to listen to.
Our poor baby isn’t even born yet and already it feels like he has fallen behind in his education. We thought about what kind of Superbaby power he could have and we thought it'd be cool if he was Superhappy Baby, so these past few nights, we’ve been teaching him how to laugh.
Our baby going, "Doh!"[ 8 comments ] ( 62 views ) | permalink | related link
Back Next
Avatar
